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Keep that Laptop Handy
A seperate tray for your laptop must be sent through the X-Ray machine when entering the boarding area for your plane. The business traveler knows to remove his/her shoes and place them in still another tray.

Never check luggage
If you can't get your clothes and belongings into a 9 x 14 x 22 inch carry-on suitcase, reevaluate your priorities in packing. An additional personal item (i.e. pocket book, laptop computer etc.) is allowed in addition to your carry-on, so pack simple and avoid long lines checking luggage at the ticket counter.

Buy a digital ticket on the Internet
Grandpa will never accept going to the airport without an official ticket in hand. But your printed email confirmation is all you need in addition to a government issued ID and the credit card with which you purchased the ticket. Most airports have computer kiosks next to the ticketing agents. Insert credit card, answer questions on screen and your ticket prints.
Total waiting time: 2 minutes.

What is allowed through security
Tell your buddy to leave his Leatherman in the truck—anything sharp will be taken away. Once discovered you'll be given the chance to return and check the item with your luggage, or more likely it will be forfeited to a box that the FDA removes for disposal. Nail clippers, nail files, syringes w/prescription and safety razors are allowed. Items not allowed include scissors and more than two lighters on any one person.

It's the shoes stupid!
Setting off the metal detector at an airport security checkpoint is bad etiquette. Some shoes do it, some don't. Don't take the chance. Remove your shoes. Metal detectors are now equipped with special sensors that alert to dense objects passing through. Even the airline pilots remove their shoes and place them in plastic crates for scanning. After the check-in at the ticket counter, it's the metal detector that seperates the savvy from the sap.

How to Beat Airport Security
—Simple Travel with Richard Aaron Wright

Getting your ticket and passing through airport security with speed and dexterity seperates the adept traveler from the amateur tourist. I arrived at the airport rolling a compact carry-on suitcase and bearing my credit card for the quick acquisition of a confirmed e-ticket from the computer kiosk. Avoiding the long line of sallow-faced tourists waiting to check their luggage, I went to the gate—catch me if you can! On my heels a flight attendant admired my efficiency. I'm no tourist. I had places to go, people to see, appointments to keep.

At the security checkpoint leading to the X-Ray machine my license matched the ticket, I removed my sunglasses, watch and keys from my pocket, depositing them into the plastic tray on the conveyor belt behind the rolling attaché. No metal. All very professional.

Maintaining an insider status on the airport travel circuit means working the system with alacrity. Government agencies regulate more than 10,000 flights every day to flow smoothly in and out of the airports with safety and efficiency as top priorities. A cog in the wheel slows the system, and it's the tourists who often cause the problems. Stuck in line at the ticket counter, problems at the metal detectors, wrong boarding pass at the gate—the airport workers smell tourists from a hundred feet away and treat them accordingly.

I like to give the impression I'm on business when I travel even when I'm not on business.

After stepping through the framed metal detector my cover was blown as a bulb beamed red overhead and a siren went up. A pair of uniformed men mobilized and pointed the way to the side. I looked back to see the flight attendant checking her watch. Flight attendants don't like tourists.

Times used to be different. "Empty your pockets and try another pass," says the sweet old lady in a powder blue blouse with Betty on her nametag. BEEEP! "Oh, you must have left your keys in your pocket? Try again." But Betty was fired following 9-11 and replaced by disgruntled federal workers who think they're bounty hunters. Set that metal detector off and you'll be stripped of your shoes and the contents of your bag dumped and searched on the table in front for all to see.

That's what happened to me when I set off the metal detector. My cover was blown. I stood with my arms spread eagle and shoes off as the agent probed me with a detector wand. I looked back at a bussinessman take off his shoes and place them in the plastic tray for scanning. The flight attendant smiled and pursued him toward the boarding area.

When I finally boarded the plane, I saw the same man in the seat behind me talking with the same flight attendant. I drank my half can of soda and wondered why I didn't get a whole one of my own. I peered through the crack of the seat and noticed his full can of coke sitting next to a mini-bottle of bourbon. "Thanks for the bottle," he said. I bet she gave it to him for free.